Funny Things to Say to Your Daughter’s Boyfriend That Will Make Him Cringe

It’s a momentous occasion when your daughter brings home her first boyfriend. As a parent, your protective instincts kick in, and you want to make sure he’s the right one for her.

But at the same time, you don’t want to come off as intimidating or stern. One way to break the ice is by injecting some humor into the situation.

In this blog post, we’ll explore some funny things to say to your daughter’s boyfriend.

Funny Things to Say to Daughter’s Boyfriend

“Just remember, if you ever hurt her, I don’t have an alibi for you.”
“I see you drive a Ford. We’re more of a Chevy family…”
“Welcome to the family! You get to pay for the next family vacation. Isn’t that great?”
“I’m kidding, we’ll split it equally… unless you break her heart.”
“Before you go, can I ask for your bank statement? Just to make sure she’s in good hands.”
“Have you ever been camping? Because my daughter and I love the great outdoors. You’re welcome to join us on our next trip!”

“I hope you like dad jokes because I have a lot of them.”
“Just a heads up, if you ever break her heart, I’ve watched enough crime shows to know how to hide a body.”
“I hope your mom likes me more than her previous boyfriends’ moms… it’s kind of a competition for me.”
“I’m just going to pretend I don’t see you two making out in the living room.”
“You know, I have a black belt in karate… just saying.”
“I’ve been saving my dad jokes for this moment, so be prepared.”
“I may seem intimidating now, but wait until you meet her grandfather. He’s a retired Navy SEAL.”
“My daughter is my whole world, so if you hurt her, just know that all of my dad’s strength will be unleashed on you.”
“Have I shown you our family photo album yet? You’ll be in it one day if you’re still around.”
“You seem like a nice guy, but just remember that I have a shovel and a good alibi.”
“I’m not saying you should fear me, but let’s just say I’ve seen every episode of ‘Criminal Minds’ multiple times.”
“You know, I was her first love. But it’s okay, I’m happy to pass the torch to you.”
“Just a fair warning, if you ever break her heart, my wife and I will be your worst nightmare.”
“I have three daughters, so you’re not just dating one girl… you’re dating all of us.”
“I may not have a gun, but I do have a very particular set of skills… just kidding.”
“I’m glad you make my daughter happy, but don’t forget that I still hold the title of ‘World’s Best Dad’.”
“My daughter is my princess and I will always be her king… so if you ever hurt her, just imagine the consequences.”
“I’m not saying I have a list of every boy who has ever broken my daughter’s heart… but let’s just say I have a very good memory.”
“You know, I never thought I would be the type of dad to interrogate my daughter’s boyfriend, but here we are.”
“Just remember, I know all of her secrets and I can always find out yours.”
“I have a lot of protective instincts when it comes to my daughter, so don’t be surprised if I start barking at you like a guard dog.”
“You seem like a great guy, but let’s just say I have a very specific set of rules when it comes to dating my daughter.”
“I may not have a black belt in karate, but I do know how to give a mean side-eye.”
“My daughter is everything to me, so just be sure to treat her with the love and respect she deserves.”
“You better not make my daughter cry, because then you’ll have to deal with me… and trust me, that’s not a pretty sight.”
“I may look calm on the outside, but on the inside, I’m mentally preparing myself to be your worst nightmare if you ever hurt my daughter.”
“Just remember, I was once a teenage boy too… so I know all about your sneaky tricks.”
“You may think you’re cool now, but just wait until my daughter starts showing you embarrassing baby pictures.”
“I have a feeling we’re going to get along just fine… as long as you don’t break my daughter’s heart.”
“My daughter is the most important person in my life, so if you ever hurt her, just know that I’ll always have her back.”
“I’m not trying to intimidate you or anything, but my daughter is my princess and I will do whatever it takes to protect her.”
“My daughter may be all grown up now, but she will always be my little girl… so don’t you dare mess with her.”
“I may not have a gun, but I do have a very particular set of skills that make me a nightmare for anyone who tries to hurt my daughter.”