67 Funny Things to Write on Your Car to Get Attention

Have you ever wanted to make your car stand out from the rest? Are you tired of the same boring bumper stickers and window clings? If so, then you are in the right place!

In this blog post, we will be sharing our top ideas for funny things to write on a car.

Funny Things to Write on a Car

“Honk if you love peace and quiet.”
“My other car is a broom.”
“Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.”
“Driver carries no cash — he’s married.”
“If you can read this, I’m not impressed. Most people can read.”
“I owe, I owe, so off to work I go.”
“Sorry for driving so close in front of you.”
“Be patient, I’m lower than turtle speed.”
“Keep honking, I’m reloading.”
“Yes, this is my car. No, I won’t help you move.”
“I may be slow, but I’m still faster than you walking.”
“Caution: This car is driven by a ferocious driver.”
“Only passing on the left because the right lane is for slackers.”
“If you can read this, I just saved $500 on my car insurance by switching to Geico.”

“My car is my happy place.”
“Warning: Driver may spontaneously break out in song.”
“Please don’t judge my driving, you’re the one reading this instead of watching the road.”
“Why yes, I am a proud member of the slow lane club.”
“I brake for unicorns.”
“My car may be old, but it still runs better than your mouth.”
“Warning: Driver may break out into spontaneous dance moves at any moment.”
“Trust me, I’m a professional…driver.”
“If you see me passing you on the right, just remember I’m always right.”
“Sorry, my car runs on sarcasm and coffee.”
“I don’t suffer from road rage, I enjoy every moment of it.”
“This car is fueled by laughter and good vibes.”
“If you can read this, thank a teacher. If not, thank a truck driver for keeping me entertained.”
“I’m not speeding, I’m just qualifying for the next NASCAR race.”
“Yes, this is my company car. No, you cannot borrow it for your moving needs.”
“Buckle up, buttercup.”
“My car may be small, but my personality isn’t.”
“Warning: Driver may make questionable decisions during karaoke sessions.”
“I don’t need horsepower, I have willpower.”
“Don’t make me use my car’s turbo boost button.”
“Yes, this is a rental. No, I don’t know how to parallel park either.”
“If you can read this, tell my boss I’m on my way to work.”
“I brake for tacos and puppies.”
“I may be slow, but at least I’m in front of you.”
“My car is more reliable than my love life.”
“In case of emergency, just follow the trail of coffee cups.”
“I’m not tailgating, I’m drafting for better gas mileage.”
“I’m not lost, I’m just taking the scenic route.”
“This car is equipped with a built-in sarcasm detector.”
“Warning: Driver has been known to spontaneously burst into song.”
“It’s not me, it’s my GPS…or maybe it is me.”
“I may be a slow driver, but I’m also a safe driver.”
“This car has been through more than my relationships.”
“No, this isn’t my car. Yes, I still drive it like I own it.”
“I only honk at bad drivers and for good music.”
“I’m not a morning person, but this car is.”
“If you can’t handle my driving, stay off the sidewalk.”
“My other car is a Tesla…in my dreams.”
“Warning: May spontaneously break into dance at red lights.”
“This car runs on coffee and good vibes.”
“I may be bad at math, but I’m great at parallel parking.”
“This car is my happy place…until traffic hits.”
“My apologies for any loud singing or questionable dance moves.”
“I don’t always drive fast, but when I do, it’s because I’m late.”
“Don’t mind me, just pretending to be a race car driver.”
“My car is my escape from adulting.”
“If you can read this, please stop tailgating me.”
“I’m not speeding, I’m qualifying for the Daytona 500.”
“This car may be small, but it’s got a big personality.”
“I brake for animals and good food.”
“My car may not be the fastest, but it’s definitely the cutest.”
“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my awesome car.”
“If you don’t like my driving, stay off the sidewalks…and roads.”